Dear Lauren and Dana,
I just got the news that your dad has terminal cancer and not much time left. While I am sad for Jim and for losing my friend, I know that your dad has lived life to its fullest every day and that he has a measure of spiritual peace that provides great comfort.
What really breaks my heart is the void you will both feel without the world's greatest dad. You are so young but fortunately just old enough to retain the wonderful memories you've shared with daddy. As we get older we learn more about our parents every day, first through the eyes of a teenager, then as a young adult, and then hopefully when we become parents ourselves. Understanding who our parents are helps us to understand who we are. When you are curious someday about who Jim Ehrlich was as a man maybe these few glimpses will give you a better idea, and I will write this to you as adults.
I met your dad at a pool party when we were both 19 years old. Your dad cut quite a figure when I met him. He was handsome, athletic, articulate, gregarious, and had a quick intelligence. In the parlance of my time the girls would have called him a stud and the guys would have called him the all-American boy.
While all those personal attributes were obvious about Jim Ehrlich what I remember vividly to this day was how your dad made an immediate connection with me on a very personal level. I saw him do it with everyone he interacted with over the years. He was above the self absorption typical of a 20 year old. He shook your hand firmly, looked you square in the eye when you were engaged in conversation, and really listened to you. Jim would hug you when you parted ways and give you a bigger bear hug when you reunited.
Most of our annual reunions with your dad were in upstate New York during our all boys golf outings or the get-togethers with the families on Cape Cod. When we were on our golf trips at Colgate most of the discussions centered around the glory days of yore or our individual livelihoods. But your dad would always want to talk about both of you and your mom, about the glories and trials of parenting, about remodeling plans for a house, about the neighborhood and how child friendly it was, about the school district, about the ways he might be able to spend more time with y'all. From the dog days in Texas to the jubilant return to New England and New Hampshire his clear priority was always family.
We are all in our 40's now and we are all parents ourselves. It is tough to be as well rounded an individual as it was when we were younger. When I think of my peers and the qualities I wish to emulate Jim Ehrlich comes first to mind: for his character, spiritual awareness, humility, and most importantly knowledge of self. Sometimes the lives that shine the brightest are the lives that are with us the briefest. Your dad set a high standard for himself the day I met him 24 years ago and I have never been remotely disappointed since. When I think of him it will be with a smile on my face because I learned so much from the example he sets. I hope I can be half the father, husband, and person Jim Ehrlich has been.
Love Bill Bland and Family
No comments:
Post a Comment