Faith and a Sense of Connected-ness

Below is the remembrance that I wrote and read at Jim's memorial service:

Over the last year, Jim and I often spent time together while traveling for work. We both spent a fair amount of time in the NY area. In fact, whenever we would happen to both in the same area, we would make an attempt to get together for lunch or dinner. You could view it as a way of bringing a bit of “home” with you while on the road. Furthermore, what’s better than sharing dinner with a good friend when you would otherwise be alone? .

Earlier this summer, Jim had been on a business trip to NJ, but this time, I was working at home in NH. It was a Friday evening and both of our wives had arranged to go out with some their girlfriends from the neighborhood, for a “ladies night out”. I was appointed to mind the children; this included my three children and the two Ehrlich girls. The plan was for Jim to leave his meeting early and then meet up at my house for dinner.

As we all know, plans never work out as you expect them to. Jim experienced some major traffic coming up I-95. About half way through his journey, he called to give an update. I suggested that he take another route, to instead cut through some back roads (which I had taken myself countless times). I assured him that he would save at least an hour and avoid any possible traffic.

Jim was open to my suggestion, so he proceeded to the new route. Along the way, he was unfortunately stuck behind a slow driver. After eventually passing the driver, he decided to drive a little faster than he normally would, in order to make up some time. Waiting around the corner was an eager state trooper with his radar gun. After a little deliberation, Jim received but a mere warning. It was likely Jim’s smile that won the state trooper over.

When he arrived at my house, though late, I was happy to see him; after all I had 5 kids on my hands and was hungry. We sat down and had dinner. We laughed about his trip and how he had avoided a potential speeding ticket.

Our discussion that night ranged from talking about work, family, and then eventually onto God. We talked specifically about our small group; we were starting a new season in our Christian walk and both of us had ideas as to what we wanted to accomplish this time around.

By the way, for those of you who don’t know what a small group is, it’s a bible study group, not a group of small people. In our case, it started as a group of acquaintances from our church, all of us couples, roughly the same age, but it grew over time to become a group of close friends, that which, I could never imagine being apart from.

In essence, a small group is meant to enable learning and sharing with one another, and ultimately to build a sense of Christian fellowship with one another. It allows the church body to focus in more into smaller segments, to affect real transformation, by connecting people together to study the Gospel.

That night, Jim said that he really wanted to “know” the people in his small group. It was his desire to move beyond small talk and pleasant conversation, rather -- to become deeply “connected” with one another. His decision to join a small group meant that he would allow strangers into his life and that he would share some of the most personal of details about his relationships, family, future dreams/aspirations, and most importantly his belief in God.

This notion of “connected-ness” was representative of Jim’s “availability” for others. Many have commented on the blog that when Jim was engaged in conversation with someone, he listened intently, looked them in the eyes and expressed genuine interest in what was said. This was indicative of how Jim cared for others.

But he sought the same for himself. What he really wanted was “parity”. Jim craved connection with others, especially those on the same faith journey as his. He desired to grow “together”, to be there for one another, not only the good times, but the bad times as well.

His faith though, was not exclusive – he didn’t want to hide it, but rather to share it. Even within the last few weeks of his life he recounted to me an opportunity to discuss God as the source of his inner strength with many and how happy it made him feel to minister to them -- as they were facing the reality of losing him.

If you asked Jim, he would considered himself a “junior” member of the small group, often saying he had “so much more to learn” -- I would say that in the time I’ve known him, he grew in his faith and understanding immensely. This is someone who read the bible from start to finish, in actual chronological order.

For those of you who knew Jim, you know that he was extremely analytical. He would often ask vexing questions each week, within our meetings. This would not only enable us to challenge our own understanding but for us to grow in our knowledge of the Gospel. Some might call these tangents; I would call them “intersections”, something that lead you to a new and exciting perspective that you might not otherwise explore.

His perspective often brought new ways of looking at things and allowed us to engage in meaningful debate. Ultimately, it allowed us to learn more about the bible and each other. With Jim in the room, small group wasn’t a ritual, it was the main event that you didn’t want to miss and didn’t want to end.

There are two things that were undeniable about Jim – first his good nature and second, his thirst for knowledge. These two qualities are mentioned specifically in 2 Peter:

It reads:

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith -- goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;



It goes on to say:

6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.


10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure.

For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


If you look around, each of us is somehow connected to Jim.


I believe that God has enabled us with an amazing opportunity to get to know Jim. He allows us to be inspired by Jim’s life and deeply moved by death; and by doing so, God has built a connection between us that will never end.

Though I am sad to have lost my dear friend, I am thankful to God for the moments he allowed me to share with Jim -- and to have been “connected” with him, through our shared faith in Christ.