Remembering Jim by Chas Peterson

I had the fortune of being a part of Jim’s life during his college years.  We were both engineers and in the same recruiting class on the Columbia swim team.    You can imagine that four years of swimming, eating, studying and just hanging out with one of the most fun and energetic person you can think of creates a long lasting impression. I swear it was like going to college with Tigger.  I didn’t learn until late 2010, several years after the fact, that Jim’s light had been extinguished so early.  While Jim and I had lost touch I never forgot the time we spent together.   

I’ve had time to read through the tribute posts I can see that Jim’s positive influence not only followed him after college but flourished. While many mention of Jim’s swimming –  there is even an annual open water event honoring him -- not much has been shared about what he was like to be his teammate, or what it was like to be a part of any of the major accomplishment he had in the pool.  I am hoping to share a little bit of that part of Jim’s college life in hopes that all  find some new nuggets about Jim that both do him honor and bring a smile to your day.

So what was it like to swim with Jim?   For the most part I don’t think it was really any different than other experiences we shared with him.  He had an absolute knack for turning almost any situation into a game.  Not a serious “winning is everything” kind of game, but a game that offered everyone a chance to play and have some fun.

More than most swimmers Jim really enjoyed honest competition.  Win or lose, Jim understood good competition brought out the best in him.  The excitement of getting the opportunity to test yourself was enough of a fun factor to make the training and anxiety of it all worthwhile.   Jim, always engaged with others around him, enjoyed seeing others be successful.  In championship meet situations where teams aren’t so much competing head to head, I saw Jim many times cheer for someone from a rival college, solely out of respect for their ability and jumping on an opportunity to participate in the race even if only as a spectator.   Overall as a teammate his positive energy around swim meets helped us all relax, be supportive, and do our best.  

To me Jim’s love of racing made him fast but it was his ability to bring in the game perspective that made him successful.  Sure Jim swam to win and had clear goals around what he wanted to achieve.  We all did.  But he never let those things get him to a point where he forgot that swimming, even with all its pressures, was still just a game.   That is an unusual and powerful balance to have in teammate.  Jim helped us see races as obstacles to be overcome and if successful celebrated, not as do or die situations.  It has taken me years to see the balance Jim had.  I wish that I had learned more quickly the lessons he was teaching me so many years ago.

There was one moment in Jim’s Columbia swimming career I would want everyone to know about.  It happened on December 3rd, 1983, 30 years ago to the day from the time this writing.   The moment is when Jim our team end “The Streak.”    

What was The Streak?  If you were standing in the fall of 1983 the Columbia men’s team had lost to Harvard 46 years straight.   FDR was ending his first term the last time Columbia defeated Harvard in men’s swimming.  In 1982 Jim and I had been part of the Columbia squad that “shaved down” in an attempt to beat Harvard.   We were outclassed in that meet and never really made much of a stand.  We respected the Harvard team but were tired of losing to them.

As a sophomore Jim was determined that things would be different.  Early that fall Jim said to me “Chas, I want that 100 Back (team) record, and I want to win against Harvard.”   Now as I’ve said Jim liked competition but was never overzealous.  Sharing his goals was unusual, and I took note. When it came time for us to prepare for the 1983 Harvard meet Jim went all in and shaved his head.   Jim looked awesome in a shaved head.   He was the splitting image of Mr. Clean, no gold earring required!   

The matchup with Harvard that year was not an easy one.  The night before our coach Lenny Galluzzi   had given us all times we’d need to do if we wanted to win.   It was clear that a complete team effort was going to be needed if we wanted to end The Streak.

Jim’s first job that day was to lead-off the 400 Medley relay.   First event of the meet, first Lion to hit the water.  We were all so anxious; no doubt the previous year’s loss in the back of our minds.   Jim took to the water for his backstroke leg with his Mr. Clean looks and a focus so fierce it was clear to all something special was about to happen.  It did.  Right from the start Jim’s massive strokes pulled away from the Harvard leadoff backstroker and he just keep extending his lead.   As Jim pulled away the rest of us just keeping screaming louder and louder.   By the time Jim touched the wall we knew that we were going to open the meet with an unexpected win in the Medley relay.   Soon after winning it was announced that Jim had broken the team record in the 100 back with his leadoff performance.  We once again erupted in cheers.

When you’re facing a 46-year losing streak a performance like Jim’s can really have a big impact on a team.  It gave us all the confidence we needed to believe in ourselves and perform at our very best.   I’d like to say that after the opening relay we continued to dominate the Harvard team, but they of course had their own traditions to keep and fought back.  It was a see-saw battle all the way and in the end Columbia won the meet by a narrow margin.   As Len had predicted it was a total team effort.  It was a total team effort and Jim had lit the fuse.  

For years even before Jim’s passing I have kept this date in the back of my mind and try to pause on every December 3rd,  to reflect on my time at Columbia, the swim team, and Jim.  Can’t say I have remembered every year but most.  Breaking The Streak wasn’t our only achievement there but it certainly was one of the most memorable.

Funny what I remember most isn’t the meet itself but my walk over to the pool that afternoon. As I left the dorm I could see Jim about a hundred yards or so ahead of me.  Instead of shouting I watched him wind his way through the students, past Low Library.  I can still see his bouncing bald head moving with confidence and grace through that crisp late sunny Autumn day onto his own self-proclaimed Carpe Diem.  I wonder what he was thinking on that walk.  Was he as nervous as I was?  How much pressure did he feel that day?  It took 46 years for this opportunity to come and with his Boston roots no doubt the traditions and history Harvard held as champions must have also weighed in.    For most that’s a lot of pressure.  For Jim that must have been pure fun.   What a challenge to overcome!  If we win, what a celebration we will have!  That quiet “calm before the storm” moment is what I seem to hold onto.   It’s a reminder to me about how he approached some of life’s big moments with a positive attitude and that things that are less than certain can be the most fun.  I also think of Jim and what a great friend he was to me in that formative time.   I count myself as one of the luckiest that we met and were able spend some of our final moments of youth together.  Thank you Jim, will never forget you and will do my best to remember the every December 3rd I get.

A message from Dino, in memory of Jim...

WHY I HATE PEARL HARBOR DAY

-to my "KOUMBARA", and "sister" Christine Ehrlich; and her most precious daughters Lauren and Dana;
-to all of the Ehrlich and Anderson families in Natick Mass, in Texas, in Hilton Head, in New York, in Minnesota, New Hampshire, and wherever;
and to all of Jim Ehrlich’s friends anywhere who can see this;

Pearl Harbor day was, in the language of FDR, a “Day That Will Live In Infamy”, a day of great pain and darkness for a nation, marking a terrible event we must never forget. We mourned as a nation back in 1941, and we do so until this day, even generations removed.

This day of darkness also marks the 2008 passing of my best and closest friend James Edward “Jim” Ehrlich, the brother I never had; my Columbia University roommate and friend ever since. So, for all of us, this marks another Day That Will Live In Infamy, but for very different reasons.

Oh, how I miss you Jim, you beautiful person. You are simply unforgettable.

You live on in my memory and loom large in my life; not a day goes by without me thinking of you and wanting to share some new thing that happened, which I used to do on our 3 hour phone chats.

For the last three years, I do the sharing in my head when I daydream of you.

Jim, the All-American swimmer (back-stroker), an incredibly intelligent, discreet, serious, yet playfully mischievous person. You were the humblest of leaders, bosses or captain; the finest and most loyal of friends. Anyone who even shared any smidgen of life with you walked away touched, improved, and with an extra spring in their step and a fresh smile on their face.

Pearl Harbor Day, December 7th 1941, brings mourning to millions, but 2008 brings another ominous December 7th, as it marks one of the darkest days in my life, not forgetting also for Jim’s wife and daughters Chris, Lauren and Dana,

December 7th 2008, to me and thousands of others, holds a painful yet wistful grief; this I bring into my private intercessions when I remember you, Jim.

December 7th provides the other half of a painful equation, and I see a great historical symmetry, alas, which only struck me on the day Jim left us in 2008.

What historical symmetry? Back to another World War 2 date: June 6th 1944, which as we know marks the Normandy D-Day invasion, a day on great hope, the beginning of the painful trip that started to draw back lift the veil of Nazi Germany's dark terror towards the Light, towards ending the terrible suffering of that war

It is thus no coincidence that June 6th 1964, is Jim Ehrlich's birthday and that day in Natick, Mass brought forth Jim Ehrlich into this world, in which he lived for 44 years.
Jim’s birth on June 6th 1964 also marks a date of great hope, as it did in 1944.
June 6th 1964, Jim’s first birthday, begat this planet with one of its greatest human beings.

So Dec 7th and June 6th remain dates on which not only tens of millions remember with pain and joy; but also to all of us who has the privileges to be blessed to know and love Jim Ehrlich.

We take these parenthetically symbolic dates and think about the pain and joy they represent in OUR world as Jim's friends.

It almost as if the karmic powers that be wanted the tens of millions to remember Jim in that way.

No wonder: he deserves to be adulated by tens of millions.

I attach a link to the Tribute Blog to Jim; and the note I wrote 3 years ago,

http://tributetojim.blogspot.com/2008/12/roommates.html

… as well as a photo of my wedding in Scottsdale in 2003-- Jim is just behind my left shoulder (look at that happy handsome grin) and my “sister”, his darling wife Christine Anderson-Ehrlich who is just behind my right shoulder.

In all of my mourning, I still keep locked in my heart the fact that he was at my 2003 wedding and witnessed my day of greatest joy, and that he met my the Woman of my Dreams (my wife Maria Houle Soldatos). This joy is muted by the fact that he never got to meet the other Woman of my Dreams (my daughter Eleni), or rather she never will have the joy to have him as an “uncle”; but I take comfort in the idea that he probably can see me from Heaven and witness how happy I am in my life.

-Dino (Dean) Soldatos, Maria Houle Soldatos, Eleni
of Geneva Switzerland, but writing this from Athens, Greece

Benefit for Melanoma Research - In Jim's Memory

A note from Christine Ehrlich:

Dear friends,

My brother-in-law John Ehrlich is chairing a golf tournament at the Atkinson Country Club (NH) on 8/24/09 to benefit melanoma research in my late husband's memory. I myself am not a golfer (yet!), but I am helping John with the event in order to raise public awareness of melanoma cancer and contribute toward finding a cure. I'm hoping you can help me by circulating the attached invitation to your friends and anyone you think would be interested in playing or supporting this worthy cause.

This a save-the-date notice. Formal invitations will be mailed out by John in May once he receives a general count of interested players. Lunch and dinner are being provided, and there will be prizes and a silent auction. All proceeds are going directly to a melanoma foundation that is established at the Norris Cotton Cancer Center. If you have anything you'd consider donating towards the silent auction or you'd like to help in some other way, please let me know. I am SO appreciative of your help.

The cost of the event per golfer is $175 (which includes greens fee, lunch and dinner).

Please register by sending an email to: jlelke@tds.net.

Fondly,

Chris Ehrlich

Each Coming Night

Several people have asked me about a song that I performed at Jim's service.

The song is called "Each Coming Night" and it was written by Sam Beam, the front man from a band called "Iron and Wine".

It's written in the first person and is basically about a man who is asking about how he will be remembered by his loved ones; i.e. his lover, parents and children. The last line offers hope that each night's passing brings a new day.

A new day will bring us closer to the time when we will be reunited in Heaven, with our loved ones who have passed away before us.

Whether intended or not, I think that there is some symbolism within the text (references to "sturdy arms" -- perhaps Christ on the cross, diving into the "riverside" -- perhaps baptism, etc.), The author hasn't confirmed that, that's just my interpretation.


"Each Coming Night"

Will you say when I'm gone away
"My lover came to me and we'd lay
In rooms unfamiliar but until now"

Will you say to them when I'm gone
"I loved your son for his sturdy arms
We both learned to cradle then live without"

Will you say when I'm gone away
'Your father's body was judgement day
We both dove and rose to the riverside"

Will you say to me when I'm gone
"Your face has faded but lingers on
Because light strikes a deal with each coming night"


It's a favorite song of mine, however many times I hear it or play -- I tear up. I hope that you will enjoy it as well.


If you would like to hear the song, I have posted a link to a live version of Sam performing it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtP8DnsPozk

Precious words from Jim's daughter

Lauren (Jim's daughter) read this at the memorial service:


My name is Lauren. My sister Dana and I would like to share a few of our favorite memories with our Dad….


Every Saturday morning we would make Aunt Jemina pancakes and sausages for breakfast. Then it was time for chores. We called this “Dump and Donuts” because we would always take our trash to the dump, stop and deposit our allowance money at the bank, and then get a Dunkin Munch-kin for a treat!


We loved playing with Dad. He was the best Scrabble and Monopoly player we knew! He could make really cool snow forts and snowmen, and it was SO fun to go sledding with him. All winter long we couldn’t wait for summer so we could go tubing with him behind Grampie’s big blue banana boat! In the Spring, Dad passed down his family tradition of the Ehrlich Easter Egg Smashing Contest, which we look forward to every year.


Our father taught us many great things, like how to fish, how to solve tricky math problems on our homework, how to swim and dive, and how to properly decorate a Christmas tree with globs and globs of tinsel! Most importantly, Dad taught us how much God loves us, and wants us to be like His Son Jesus.


We are going to miss doing lots of our favorite things with Dad, like snuggling together and reading books, dancing to silly songs and watching our favorite movies “Jungle Book” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, and vacationing at the Cape and the lake. We will miss his hugs goodnight and his big smile.


But we know that Dad’s in Heaven, probably stuck somewhere on the back-nine looking for his golf ball, and that he wouldn’t want us to be sad--just remember him and love him forever. And we will…

A Testament to Success

Steve McManis sent me his remembrance of Jim that he read at the memorial service:

Good Morning,

I stand before you today humbled and honored to share a few remembrances of my dear friend Jim Ehrlich.

My relationship with Jim spans some 20 or so years, and began just a little north of here in Concord at the home offices of Chubb LifeAmerica. Though we didn’t know it then, the journey we would take together would cross many thousands of air miles, entail countless hours of conversation and debate, create valuable programs, opportunities and support systems for a host of people we sought to assist, and ultimately, form a bond and a friendship between us that we bet would last a lifetime…and it seems we won that bet, albeit, way too soon.

Jim and I had what I would call a complimentary blend of skills; I being a bit more “sales and marketing” focused and Jim a bit more “analytical and technical” by nature. As you can imagine, this blend only yielded greater debate at times, but seemed to teach us a very valuable lesson early in our careers. You do need a lot of diverse skills…and some luck… to succeed.

Jim approached his work with a tenacity second to none I have witnessed. It was not uncommon in his early days of building his career, to work well into the late night and still be one of the first at his desk the next morning, right back at it. Though the eyes may have been a bit heavy, the spirit was strong and the determination was prevalent.

Throughout the years, our career paths evolved and took us in similar, but different geographic directions. We would see each other at destinations around the country, and interact with many of the same groups, but at different times. Some consistent comments always seemed to surface from folks I would see that had recently seen Jim, but didn’t know him too well, those being something to the tune of: How do you know if he’s upset, he’s always smiling? Does he really enjoy playing Devil’s advocate as much as it appears? (And one of my favorites) What does he do for fun…his own budget?

Truth be known, Jim made a fantastic impression with most everyone, and left an indelible mark on the business and personal lives of so many people throughout the entire country. He often commented to me that he felt lucky to do what he did and had the terrific opportunity to meet so many diverse and interesting people along the way. As you may have read some of the numerous postings on the blog from folks who knew Jim through a more professional relationship, the message always centered on his intelligence, compassion, assistance, camaraderie, and of course, good humor. The benefits of Jim’s guidance, creativity and inspiration to achieve success has manifested itself hundreds of times over, and will continue to grow and flourish in so many people that will do him proud, day in and day out, for decades to come. His goals and values will be represented by their actions, for he helped shaped their direction and thought process.

If you’re sensing a consistent theme in my message, you can clearly understand that Jim Ehrlich made a significant impact on those with whom he worked. He challenged you and tried to make you think and believe in what you were doing…not just do it for the sake of getting it done. He would rather do the “Right Thing” than the “Popular Thing”, and while that was not always an easy place to be, his determination in the pursuit of what was honest and sincere allowed for no other action.

I think overall, Jim operated with a simple motto in business and carried that same motto even more so in life…and that was -- “While authority can be given, respect can only be earned.” I think that is one of the very reasons he constantly sought to develop and expand his own personal knowledge. I think it is a core motive why he undertook the challenge of creating his own business; and, likewise, knowing when it was time to change courses and move forward from that plan. I think it is why he truly seemed content these last couple of years with his professional place and achievements…but yet why he also yearned to contribute more each and every day. I think it is why comments from co-workers indicate they are a better person for having worked with and known him. I think that’s why so many would call him a “True Professional”. And, I think it is why there was always a smile on his face when he was doing what he did.

_____________________________________________________________


On a more personal note, Jim and I shared many special times…both happy and sad over the years. He was one of the few people in my world that I looked forward to verbally sparring with, for I knew the motivation of our debate was healthy, and that we would have many laughs in the process of coming away with a keener sense of the issue. I was always intrigued by those times when he would stop, mid-sentence, and say “I don’t know…” but before I could say anything, he would start up…“but what if….” and go on from there.

He was always a trusted confidante, and I will miss the insight we shared on so many fronts. Jim was a catalyst in bringing people together, and I know in my heart that many of the casual relationships he might have innocently ignited will carry on with meaning and depth because of his involvement.

One of our last conversations together at hospice was intended to focus primarily on some financial concerns and logistics, but the conversation quickly evolved to reminiscing about so many great times shared over the years. We talked about what the world looks like today compared to a couple of decades ago, and how we emerged into the business community and learned so much, so fast, and how none of the basics we were brought up on seemed to fit anymore. It was a conversation I’m sure two colleagues and friends from many generations before us have had, time and time again; but to me, I will always remember it was with my very special friend Jim. “Oh, Stevo, it’s been too short…Where did the time go?” he asked…as that inquisitive look came across his face and he gazed into the room…and before I could respond, he proceeded to begin telling me…and I couldn’t get enough of all he had to say.

The morning Jim died, I read a reflection passage for the second Sunday in Advent. It described the term “angel” and talked about what angels do. The closing line in the reflection was this: “Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd.” I rejoice today in the fact that my friend will continue to be there as my angel, and as an angel for so many he encountered while here.

_____________________________________________________________


In closing, when I think of Jim…my colleague, my wine and cigar pal, my business confidante, and my very dear friend, there will always be one word that surfaces and clearly defines his multitude of accomplishments in the many aspects of his short, but fulfilling, life…and that word is SUCCESS. I believe this poem from Ralph Waldo Emerson says it all…

To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

May each of us, in our own way, strive to emulate Jim’s testament to SUCCESS.

Faith and a Sense of Connected-ness

Below is the remembrance that I wrote and read at Jim's memorial service:

Over the last year, Jim and I often spent time together while traveling for work. We both spent a fair amount of time in the NY area. In fact, whenever we would happen to both in the same area, we would make an attempt to get together for lunch or dinner. You could view it as a way of bringing a bit of “home” with you while on the road. Furthermore, what’s better than sharing dinner with a good friend when you would otherwise be alone? .

Earlier this summer, Jim had been on a business trip to NJ, but this time, I was working at home in NH. It was a Friday evening and both of our wives had arranged to go out with some their girlfriends from the neighborhood, for a “ladies night out”. I was appointed to mind the children; this included my three children and the two Ehrlich girls. The plan was for Jim to leave his meeting early and then meet up at my house for dinner.

As we all know, plans never work out as you expect them to. Jim experienced some major traffic coming up I-95. About half way through his journey, he called to give an update. I suggested that he take another route, to instead cut through some back roads (which I had taken myself countless times). I assured him that he would save at least an hour and avoid any possible traffic.

Jim was open to my suggestion, so he proceeded to the new route. Along the way, he was unfortunately stuck behind a slow driver. After eventually passing the driver, he decided to drive a little faster than he normally would, in order to make up some time. Waiting around the corner was an eager state trooper with his radar gun. After a little deliberation, Jim received but a mere warning. It was likely Jim’s smile that won the state trooper over.

When he arrived at my house, though late, I was happy to see him; after all I had 5 kids on my hands and was hungry. We sat down and had dinner. We laughed about his trip and how he had avoided a potential speeding ticket.

Our discussion that night ranged from talking about work, family, and then eventually onto God. We talked specifically about our small group; we were starting a new season in our Christian walk and both of us had ideas as to what we wanted to accomplish this time around.

By the way, for those of you who don’t know what a small group is, it’s a bible study group, not a group of small people. In our case, it started as a group of acquaintances from our church, all of us couples, roughly the same age, but it grew over time to become a group of close friends, that which, I could never imagine being apart from.

In essence, a small group is meant to enable learning and sharing with one another, and ultimately to build a sense of Christian fellowship with one another. It allows the church body to focus in more into smaller segments, to affect real transformation, by connecting people together to study the Gospel.

That night, Jim said that he really wanted to “know” the people in his small group. It was his desire to move beyond small talk and pleasant conversation, rather -- to become deeply “connected” with one another. His decision to join a small group meant that he would allow strangers into his life and that he would share some of the most personal of details about his relationships, family, future dreams/aspirations, and most importantly his belief in God.

This notion of “connected-ness” was representative of Jim’s “availability” for others. Many have commented on the blog that when Jim was engaged in conversation with someone, he listened intently, looked them in the eyes and expressed genuine interest in what was said. This was indicative of how Jim cared for others.

But he sought the same for himself. What he really wanted was “parity”. Jim craved connection with others, especially those on the same faith journey as his. He desired to grow “together”, to be there for one another, not only the good times, but the bad times as well.

His faith though, was not exclusive – he didn’t want to hide it, but rather to share it. Even within the last few weeks of his life he recounted to me an opportunity to discuss God as the source of his inner strength with many and how happy it made him feel to minister to them -- as they were facing the reality of losing him.

If you asked Jim, he would considered himself a “junior” member of the small group, often saying he had “so much more to learn” -- I would say that in the time I’ve known him, he grew in his faith and understanding immensely. This is someone who read the bible from start to finish, in actual chronological order.

For those of you who knew Jim, you know that he was extremely analytical. He would often ask vexing questions each week, within our meetings. This would not only enable us to challenge our own understanding but for us to grow in our knowledge of the Gospel. Some might call these tangents; I would call them “intersections”, something that lead you to a new and exciting perspective that you might not otherwise explore.

His perspective often brought new ways of looking at things and allowed us to engage in meaningful debate. Ultimately, it allowed us to learn more about the bible and each other. With Jim in the room, small group wasn’t a ritual, it was the main event that you didn’t want to miss and didn’t want to end.

There are two things that were undeniable about Jim – first his good nature and second, his thirst for knowledge. These two qualities are mentioned specifically in 2 Peter:

It reads:

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith -- goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;



It goes on to say:

6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.


10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure.

For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


If you look around, each of us is somehow connected to Jim.


I believe that God has enabled us with an amazing opportunity to get to know Jim. He allows us to be inspired by Jim’s life and deeply moved by death; and by doing so, God has built a connection between us that will never end.

Though I am sad to have lost my dear friend, I am thankful to God for the moments he allowed me to share with Jim -- and to have been “connected” with him, through our shared faith in Christ.

Roommates...

From Dean Soldatos (Jim's old college roommate):

To the Ehrlich and Anderson families:

The last time I saw you all together was at the wedding.

I cannot find the words to express the grief I feel, I am still trying to make sense of all this. I cannot imagine what you must be going through feel. I miss Jim like I miss a family member.

I am Jim's old roommate from college. I am a Greek-American who grew up in Switzerland. I have many pictures of Jim and me together. All of them show a very happy, fulfilled person wearing that big grin of his. I love and will have a big hole in my friendship space in this world.

I had the privilege to speak with Jim for about an hour and a half on the 9th of November. We had a long talk, and spoke about pretty much anything that was going through our minds. (we have done this since college freshman year in 1982, mentally "jazz-riffing" off of each other).

Not easy to say good-bye to a friend. In a cruel frustrating ambivalence, it was both the best, and worst, conversation I ever had with him.

To borrow from another religion, as the Jewish Kaddish ( a kind of "departure" prayer) tries to say, it "expresses love of God and acceptance of God's will, even while the mourner is feeling sorrow over the death of a loved one".

I for one will miss this friend deeply, but he has joined my parents in Heaven. In my Greek-Orthodox Christian religion, we never speak of death, we speak of "falling asleep with God." . The Greek word for sleep is *kemesis* and the place we sleep is a *kemeteryo* ... gives us the word cemetery.

I know that Jim sleeps blissfully. He carries with him the knowledge of the love we all have for him, now and forever, unto the ages of ages.

Sleep, my brother Jim, sleep peacefully.

You have meant so much to me in the last 26 years. I will never forget you in this life, and I know you watch down on all of us from the place you are now.


Dean ("Dino") Soldatos
Switzerland



Below is a picture of Jim and Chris with Dean (in the center), May 2003:

An old friend looks back and remembers Jim...

From Russ Whinnem (an old friend of Jim's from Natick):


To the Ehrlich family,

My heart, and the hearts of the entire Whinnem family here in Natick, go out to you during this incredibly difficult time. Words are impossible when trying to make sense of such a loss.

It had been many years since I've seen Jim. But my memories of growing up with your family right around the corner remain vivid. Your home was the frequent playground for a bunch of us, and countless games of street hockey and basketball were played in your driveway. While Steve and I were close, and in the same class, Jim was always a part of the fun. Even as a youngster, he was comical, at ease with anyone around him, and had a quiet confidence in who he was. He and I shared numerous laughs growing up, idolized some of the same athletes, and found common ground in so many areas. I can never remember having a disagreement with him (or any of the Ehrlich's) that wasn't solved with a smile and a joke within minutes – not always an easy accomplishment when you're kids.

It is clear to see by reading the memories and thoughts so lovingly displayed on this page, that Jimmy had indeed grown into the man that I always thought he would, and then some. I have been moved by his love for family, friends, God, and every day that he had, even when he found out what was ahead. I am proud to say that I knew such an individual, even if it was only when we were kids. It is people like Jim that make us all want to be a little better in our own lives each day.

In my work as a sports associate producer, I often work with ESPN. This week the network is celebrating "Jimmy V Week", a yearly tribute to Jim Valvano, the former North Carolina State basketball coach, and his valiant fight against cancer 15 years ago. Last night they replayed his remarkable and famous speech at the ESPY Awards in 1993, shortly before his passing. As I listened to the end of that speech, and I remembered reading on these pages how strong and philosophical Jim was when his own cancer was diagnosed, I couldn't help but think that these words were as appropriate for him as they were for Coach Valvano.

Coach Valvano said… "Cancer can take away my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind. It cannot touch my heart. And it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever"

God Speed Jimmy… You clearly touched so many in your life. Even some from way back in the day who won't forget the times we shared.

Peace,

Russ Whinnem

Obituary

Bedford, NH—James E. Ehrlich, 44, passed away Sunday, Dec. 7, 2008 at the Community Hospice House in Merrimack, NH from a short but courageous battle with melanoma cancer. Jim was born on June 6, 1964 in Poughkeepsie, NY, son of Janet and Edward C. Ehrlich, Jr. of Hilton Head Island, SC. Raised in Natick, MA, Jim graduated from Natick High School in 1982, where he excelled both academically and athletically. He graduated from Columbia University in 1986 with a degree in industrial engineering, and was captain of the varsity swim team.

Jim was employed by Chubb Life in Concord, NH for over a decade, and later moved to Houston, TX for employment with American General Life from 1998-2002. From 2002-2004 Jim ran his own voluntary insurance company from Bedford. Jim’s most recent position was Client Executive for Marsh & McClennan. His strong work ethic and enduring optimism made him the ideal colleague, problem solver, and peer mentor. He was a man of honesty and integrity, respected by all who had the pleasure of working with him. He was truly a humble gentleman.

Most known for his animated, witty sense of humor, Jim could have you laughing hysterically at his quick one-liners and polished joke telling. His permanent smile and sparkling blue eyes could light up a room. He instantly made others feel comfortable, and would do anything to help someone in need. Children of all ages flocked to him like the Pied Piper. He was everyone’s Uncle Jimmy. He brought out the best in others, and was a tremendous encourager, leader, and exemplary role model.

Jim’s high energy level was an incredible asset, especially when he applied it to his favorite hobbies and sports. He loved fishing, board games, do-it-yourself projects, vacationing at Cape Cod and Newfound Lake, and spending quality time with his family. Throughout his life he enjoyed tennis, golf, basketball, and working out, but his real passion was swimming. In 1981 and 1982 he received the Boston Globe All-Scholastic Boys Swim Team award in 100-meter backstroke, and set numerous swim records at Natick High School and with the Barracudas team.

The two most important things to Jim were his faith and his family. He applied his unwavering faith in Jesus Christ to everything he did, giving him true meaning and purpose for his life. He was particularly fond of his fellow believers at Bedford Community Church, and the group of close friends that shared in his spiritual journey.

Jim’s devotion to his wife and children was undeniable and abundant in love. He is survived by his beloved wife Christine G. (Anderson) Ehrlich and two daughters, Dana (7) and Lauren (9). He also leaves five siblings: Susan Ehrlich (AZ), Catherine Ehrlich (NY), Stephen Ehrlich (PA), John Ehrlich (GA), and Karen Zotos (TX), as well as eleven nieces and nephews.

Despite the negative news we continually hear, Jim was a reflection of all that is still good in the world. He will be immeasurably missed by all who knew and loved him. A memorial service will take place Saturday Dec. 13, 2008 at 11:00 a.m. at the Crown Plaza Hotel, Nashua, NH. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the James Ehrlich Memorial Fund c/o TD Banknorth, 184 Route 101, Bedford, NH 03110. To post a memory, photo or read more about Jim’s life, go to www.tributetojim.blogspot.com

Jim's Memorial Service - Please Read

A memorial service will be held this Saturday, December 13, 2008.

Seating begins at 10:30 with the service beginning promptly at 11:00 a.m. at the Crown Plaza Nashua Hotel, Somerset Ballroom.

After the service, light refreshments will be served in the ballroom.

Crown Plaza Nashua

2 Somerset Parkway

Nashua, NH 03063

(603) 886-2700

www.cpnashua.com

There is a block of rooms reserved under Ehrlich should you need to make overnight reservations.

If possible, please RSVP to spellicys@comcast.net so we can get a general headcount.

At the request of the family, adults only please.

Holding hands until the end

Chris sent me another picture from earlier this morning.

In Jim's last few hours, she promised she would not let go of his hand.

It reminded her of the song by Matt Redman called "You Never Let Go". What's really amazing is that about the same time that this picture was taken, in a church about 10 miles away, we were singing this exact song for Jim.



The song talks about how even in the darkest times, God is there for us.

An excerpt from the song:

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth


I hope that you can find some comfort in it, I know that I do.

Last thoughts

What a pleasure it has been to have known such a great man. His demeanor permeated every room into which he walked. His kind, gentle smile was warming every time I saw him. As I read some of his "Get Well" cards yesterday, it was evident that he will be missed by many. All your words were a testimony to his impact on your lives as well.

As much as we (I) love this world, it can be cruel. I know he has gone to a better place; one that he has been wondering about for many years. He often asked me and my fellow "small grouper(s)" deep questions that most non-theologians could not answer. Today, Jim has had all his questions answered! Jim will enjoy watching his 3 "girls" grow in stature and in Christ.

He has left a wonderful mark on my life, this community and his workplace. I am a better man for knowing him. Thanks Jim. I owe you. Love you.

Time for us to say goodbye...

Jim Ehrlich passed away earlier today -- December 7th 2008, at 12:12 PM.

He died peacefully with his wife Chris at his bed side. Jim's brother in-law Woody Anderson was also there, but he had just left the room and it was just Jim and Chris. It's as if Jim was waiting for the right moment to leave. A private goodbye in the few last minutes with her.

Below is a picture of Chris holding Jim's hand from earlier this morning (around 8 AM):




Although I report his passing with great sadness, we can rejoice knowing that Jim will no longer feel any pain, despair, or sadness. Jim is truly in a much better place. A place where there is no suffering, only love, and where he can be with Jesus. Something he was looking forward to.

Psalm 23 is particularly relevant as we are faced with this loss, but we know God will comfort us and that Jim is in eternal peace with his Heavenly Father.

Psalm 23 (NIV):

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

To Jim -- I love you very much, I learned so much from you, in such a short period of time. Although I will miss you greatly here on Earth, I know that it's not goodbye forever and that we will see each other again someday.

Your friend and brother in Christ,

Stephen

Another Natick Perspective

From Bryan King (an old friend of Jim's from Natick):

 

Like many who have written before about Jim, there is no denying what he others like him did for the sport of swimming in the early 80's.  I joined the Natick summer team at age 9, and Jim was already tearing things up.  His brother John and I were the same age, and the rest of the Ehrlich clan was part of that summer team.  As they got older, some kids pursued different teams, with better opportunities.  I could not.  But that didn't mean I lost touch.  I played at the Ehrlich house, in the tennis courts, around the yard, and had fun with everyone.  Summer Swim team parties where 100 kids were running around while the parents hung out inside were some things I could never forget.  And then there was the year we won everything in that summer league.  We won all the meets, the regionals and the Mile Swim.  The Mile Swim is an event still run today in Sherborn where roughly 60 kids swim across and back a pond.  That year Natick went 1,2,3,5,6. (Jim was 2^nd J).  I went to that event and just was so impressed.

 

Then I got to high school.  Again, I was not real good, but could hold my own.  Steve was a senior that year, and Jim was a junior.  John a sophomore.  I was in shock what I was seeing in meets.  And it only got better my junior year.  We won the league for the second time in a row.  And in the states, Natick was sectional runner-up, due to Jim, Steve Ruiter and Lloyd Pierce (who both wrote things already below) John, and a few others.  I was not there.  But I read the articles, and I listened at the banquet to the words of these great swimmers.  If you are from the Natick area, you probably only know of football, and maybe the other bigger sports as getting all of the limelight.  But what happened during that year changed the face of swimming in Natick forever!  In my senior year, when only John was left on the team, I got better, helped out where I could, and we were able to pull off another league title…the last time is has ever happened in Natick history.

 

After that year, we all went our separate ways…and I swam in college.  But in 1990, I had the chance to do something very few ever can say they did, and it was to go back to my high school and coach.  From 1990-1994 I was coaching the Natick Boys, and there were some great swimmers.  In 1991 we had our last meet of the season with Framingham (big rivalry), and we were both tied for first.  I took my team into the High School gym and showed them the banners form the early 80's.  I talked about names such as Shedd, Ruiter, Ehrlich, and Pierce..I told them about tradition, I told them what this meet meant….well, we lost the meet in the last race, but I remember vividly the other coach, who was coaching in the early 80's and still is coaching today tell me, wow, these kids you have swum incredibly, they reminded him of those kids from the early 80's.  It felt nice hearing that.

 

I am still coaching today, and each winter I have kids who go to the Sectionals and States.  Up until two years ago, Jim still had a state record.  Imagine that, 25 years and it had not fallen.  When the young man from BC broke it, I went into the stands.  I talked to him about Jim, and who he was, what he meant to swimming, and what he did for Natick.  This boy (who was a senior in high school) cried.  He said he felt so touched by what he heard, and felt honored to break the record of such a great person.

 

This time is difficult for all involved with Jim I am sure.  My mom still talks about those summers at Dug Pond, and how the parents were so close, and the kids just played so nice together.  But my memories continue to make me smile when I think of the old days, and hope that I can continue some of the traditions of Natick swimming living on forever. 

God Bless you Jimmy, your family and all involved in this difficult time.

Growing up with Jim

From Lloyd Peirce (a childhood friend of Jim's):

Jim:

Just heard about what you are going through - and it has brought back very old and enjoyable memories.

Have been remembering our childhood growing up in Natick and playing and sleeping over at your parents house on Pond Street. Have many fond memoirs off playing in the side , back yard – inside and doing who knows what but spending hours just enjoying life over at your house and with out any worries (to be young again).

Than years later when I finally join the cudas and joined in the car pooling duties to Westwood at a way to early time in the mornings - and the awesome high school swim team that we belonged to and that you were a major reason of why we were so good.

Have been thinking of my childhood and how you are your family were a major part of it these last few days - and my thoughts and prayers are with you , your family and all your siblings -

Lloyd Peirce

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time when one is asked the question: What are you thankful for?

It's a tough question for many of us right now when we're faced with losing Jim to cancer. Not to mention the world around us seems to be faced with so many challenges and seemingly insurmountable problems. Many might say that there isn't much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving.

But if we pause and think for a moment, we can see that even in this time of great sadness, there is much to be thankful for. Let's put ourselves Jim's shoes and imagine what he's thankful for today:

1. The unwaivering love, devotion and strength of his wife Chris

2. The unconditional love of his daughters Dana and Lauren. When he sees their smiles he still lights up.

3. To know that hundreds of people love him and his family, and that so many are praying for them all each day (for a little perspective, Jim had a stack of emails printed out by his bed, over 2 inches high, people all over the globe are emailing and reading the blog)

4. To have lived an interesting life, filled with rich experiences, many great times, with fond memories of his childhood, college life, adulthood, family life...

5. Lastly, Jim is thankful to have a personal relationship with his heavenly Father. Jim has peace knowing that God is holding his hand along this final journey in his life. He knows that God is in control, will protect his wife and father his children, and will soon be welcoming him home.

Yesterday we had the honor of hosting Thanksgiving dinner at our house. We had great company including some members of the Ehrlich/Anderson family: Chris, Lauren, Dana, and Anne. We also had Jennifer's mother and sister here. Jennifer (my wife) commented that this one of the best Thanksgivings we have ever had. The time spent talking and praying (and shedding a few tears) with Chris, Anne and Rosemary at the dinner table, was precious and she will never forget it.

It was a special dinner as we all felt God's presence at our table last night. And for that we are very, thankful.

Remembering Jim's Wit

From Colleen Horner (an old friend from work):

Dear Jim:

 

I hope you will remember me as I have fond memories of you.  We met during our days at Chubb when I was in the Philadelphia Regional Office with Dan McDaid.  As you may recall, we became attached at the hip when my database crashed!  Not a good time then, but thinking back I now laugh.

 

On a serious and somber note, I wanted to take the time to let you know that I appreciated all your witty comments during my Chubb days, but more importantly, I wanted you to know that you are always thought of in the most loving of ways.  May you find comfort in knowing that you touched many people's lives in so many positive ways.  And may you find and feel the love that so many people feel for you.

 

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be from this day forward.  As you move in to the next phase of your life and you have the choice to sit it out or dance - I truly hope you Dance!!

 

Colleen Horner

Jim, a devoted husband and father

From the O'Donnell Family (friend's of Jim and Chris'):

Our family, the O'Donnells, were lucky enough to meet Jim and Chris when Caroline, our daughter, and Dana, their younger daughter, went to school together at the Bedford Mother's Club.  Chris and I became fast friends as did our girls. 

We had the family over for dinner several times and swam at our pool and enjoyed just all being together...my one memory that i will share is the 'Baby Ruth' episode.  We were all out by the pool enjoying our steak tips and the kids were swimming in the pool....as a joke, I decided to throw a Baby Ruth into the pool, "Caddyshack" style, to see what the reaction of our kids would be.  Well, the adults could not stop laughing at my silly practical joke and what I will remember most is Jim laughing with Chris and just having fun that summer afternoon with his girls. 

Oh, he will be missed by those of us that were lucky enough to have known him for such a short period of time.  the weather outside today is pouring and i feel as though it's GOD getting ready to open heaven's gates to let Jim in.  We love you, Ehrlich family, and may God bless you in this difficult time. 

Laura, Paul, Jack and Caroline O'Donnell

The Tree and messages from McAfee Farm Neighbors

In a recent post, one of Jim's neighbors mentioned a tree that was planted to honor him. Neighbors and friends have posted messages on the tree to show support for Jim and his family.

What it was like to work with Jim...

From Diane Paige (one of Jim's friends from Marsh):

To Jim and Family:

I am writing this “blog” addition so that Chris, Lauren and Dana will know a little about what it is like to work with Jim on a day-to-day basis.

Jim and I are a client relations team for about 15 clients and have been working together for the past 3 years. I live in Iowa, Jim in NH, so my relationship with Jim has been built through daily telephone calls and occasional in person visits. As with everything in life and as seen on other blogs, I am in awe of Jim’s sensitivity in knowing his co-workers styles, strengths/weaknesses, priorities, and goals for the future, and how he uses his intuition in establishing close relationships with each individual.

He is a mentor yet a friend in so many different ways to those he is in contact with. Jim takes the extra steps to make sure work is enjoyable and that he is engaged at all times – no multitasking allowed in conversations with Jim – he would know if I was not 100% attentive. No matter what issues come up, Jim always looks on the positive side of situations, and always is generous with feedback for a job well done. That positive feedback always is such a lift!

When his clients look to him for answers they know they will get Jim’s honest explanations. In the field of ethics he is an example for all business professionals to follow.

It amazed me how Jim uses every minute of life to his advantage and to live fully. I can remember him calling me on his cell phone while driving to or from a meeting and he would get so wrapped up in our conversation, the “never lost system” would start in “rerouting” mode because Jim would have missed an exit. When traveling in his personal car - he had to put away the “books on tape” from the passenger seat to make room for me - he used these audio books to feed his various life interests, such as those on historical figures or events. (I now do the same thing.)

My work life and personal life has been so enriched by his presence that I wanted all the special people sharing this information to know that Jim lives his morals and mentoring attitudes around the clock 24/7. Jim and his family will remain in my family’s prayers for a long time into the future.

Thinking of Jim

From Sandra Downs (a friend and co-worker of Jim's):

"I am at a loss for words when I read daily all the beautiful and touching
things about Jim on this blog. Had I known what a great dancer he was, I
would have asked him for a demonstration!  It is very easy to see that he
is a devoted husband and father.

As a colleague, he will be truly missed. There wasn't a time that I did
not see a smile on his face and a spring to his step. He always made sure
to chat with everyone he came in contact with. It saddens me that I will
no longer be able to spend time with him, but I am comforted in the fact
the his soul will be at peace."

Sandra Downs

A message from Chris (Jim's wife) to BCC - 11/20/2008

My dear church family,

I am blessed beyond words. As a body of believers, you have been the hands and feet of Christ serving me and my loved ones during this sorrowful time. I have read all your cards, emails, blog entries, scripture verses and stories, and my soul is overflowing with joy, peace, and gratitude. I am so thankful to each one of you, even the precious children of BlastZone, who have showered us with love and comfort through their cards and prayers. It may not seem that much to you, but it has reaped dividends for me.

As strange as this sounds, when I step out of bed each morning, I really feel your prayers lifting me, carrying me throughout my entire day. I hear the promised words of the scriptures repeating in my ear, as well as my favorite praise songs which have taken on even deeper meaning. I love you all. I thank you for your gifts, your time, your prayers, your words of encouragement and comfort, and I am so honored to be united with you in Christ through Bedford Community Church.

People who don't know what it really means to have a relationship with Jesus, not just religious traditions or occasional pew warming, have no idea what blessings they're missing out on in this life. My prayer is that through Jim's death, those who don't know or understand God's grace will have the veils lifted from their eyes, and will be able to see what an incredible gift God has to freely give them through His son.

As tremendously sad as I feel to lose my husband and best friend, I am smiling because I know that Jim's life was not in vain. He may have brought new life, new hope to countless others who are seeking meaning and truth for their own lives, the same way Jim did 13 years ago. With Christ as my shepherd and you as my family, I can persevere through this enormous trial with grace and glory. My parents named me "Christine Grace", for the grace that comes from knowing Christ. Little did they know 37 years ago that would be my life song....Psalm 23  

In Him, Chris Ehrlich

Too good to be just a comment...

I just read this comment from an earlier post.

This deserves its own spot on the main page -- maybe its because it brought a simile to my face while reading it. I know others will enjoy it too.

Thank you Jay,

Stephen.

-------

From Jay Mahoney (an old friend of Jim's):


James Ehrl,

That's what I've always called you- that and Jimmy...but hardly ever Jim. Steve quoted me correctly- you always seem to bring people together.

Jim, we had our most intense aspect of our friendship through swimming with the Barracudas. I remember brother Steve (as an aside, you always referred to your brothers and sisters with the "brother" or "sister" in front of the name-- don't know why, interesting quirk!) telling me about you after one practice at Brandeis. I always looked up to brother Steve, he was always so tall--insert your deadpan face here, ha ha-...but he spoke of you as being an excellent swimmer and someone I would probably like to get to know.

He was right and soon after that small conversation about 34 years ago (which I still remember vividly) I met you. Steve was right, you were a gifted athlete. I loved going to afternoon practices mostly because of you and Steve and everyone else in "the lane". Jim, you put up with so much of my selfishness. You saw through to me as a better person than I saw in myself. We were attached to each other during a time when nothing mattered but ourselves and I was, in your own words, your "party friend". It was a very crazy time and we did some crazy things- all memorable-- OK, that one time up in Concord, NH in that bar we used to go to. Top Gun wasn't so far off as a new movie and we did that "You've lost that loving feeling" scene from the movie?

Remember that?

The entire place was singing with us as we belted out the entire tune- there must have been about 100 people slapping our backs and asking us where we were going to be the next night. We had more than a few invitations to parties that night! And the time we danced on top of a bar to the tune of "Tequila"? Oh boy, they asked us to leave after that...

You always thought I was fairly reckless and footloose. A bit nuts, perhaps? Probably was at the time. But we did have fun and no one got hurt (much) and nothing terrible ever really happened, right?

But then things changed. I found the love of my life and you did too. As the Best Man in my wedding, you gave a wonderful toast and helped organize and sing in a scrappy quartet of singers that lead us out to “Good Night My Love”. We both moved into good lives that have much more meaning and depth in them. You once said you admired me for leaving "the TV industry" and following my passion for educating elementary and middle school students. I told you how much I admired your work and your family. We both came out OK, I think. Jimmy, I now admire your call to heaven and embrace of God. You continue to shine a light in my life and others around you.

I spoke with you last January and although our conversations happened on a very infrequent basis over the last 15 years, we picked up as we left off. Just as true friends do.

It is so nice to see that both of us have grown up and found that which is most important in life and living. With faith and hope and the Golden Rule all in hand, I hope to see you again someday.

I love you, Jimmy. Always have, always will.

Love,
Jay Mahoney

Starry Heavens...

From Melissa and Scott Mellor (fellow BCC members):

One of my favorite quotes is from Immanuel Kant, in which he said "Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing wonder and awe: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me." I find comfort in this statement and its ability to challenge seekers questions about whether God exists and is active in our daily lives. I became aware the other day that I have sort of created my own mental "shopping list" of customized items I include to Kant's statement, which proves to me that he DOES exist and is very active in our lives.

When my wife first told me of Jim's condition, I have to admit my first question was "I know the name from church, but what does he look like?" After seeing his profile picture from the church directory, I was immediately reminded of who he was: the guy I shook hands with and spoke briefly with during a 2 minute "meet-n-greet" at church.

Now, this in itself doesn't compare to what everyone else on this blog is saying about him. Heck, I don't recall ever talking with him outside of this one time. But to explain to you how much passion and love he expressed to me about his girls, church, and life in that short two minutes, and for me to remember it from hundreds of similar greetings, is beyond words. When I told him I had a little girl and was expecting another, his face lit up and he went into excite mode, gushing about his two girls and how similar the ages were, and how incredible it is. I've heard it mentioned in this blog about his child-like love of things, and I could immediately relate based on an otherwise insignificant interaction.

Having just finished reading the book "The Question of God" by Armand Nicholi, and reading through the blog posts here, I felt that God was really speaking to me and giving me something more to add to my "shopping list". I found a comparison between how Jim is dealing with his cancer, and records of C.S. Lewis's last few months. Lewis kept his sense of humor, referring to dying as "solemn fun", but also stating to a friend "the only real snag is that it looks as if you and I shall never meet again in this life".

Nicholi posed the question "How could Lewis, or anyone else, be "prepared" for death, to face this "penal obscenity" with not only cheerfulness, calmness, and inner peace, but with actual anticipation? Did his worldview provide him with the resources that made this possible?"

Nicholi stated the answer was in C.S. Lewis's own words: "If we really believe what we say we believe-if we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a 'wandering to find home,' why should we not look forward to the arrival?"

Thanks Jim, for inspiring me to see the starry heavens in my life.

A college friend reflects...

From Peter Burrows (a college buddy of Jim's):

I'm one of the gang of Colgate frat brothers that came to know Jim through his pal Bogie, back in the late 1980s. Since it's been far too long since we've spoken, Jim, I just want to tell you what a joy it has been to have known you. A unique joy, and I mean that. You've inspired me with your perpetual optimism, your sense of fun, and especially with your irrepressible kindness. If there was ever a person that could get away with less, it was you. With your smarts, your charisma, your looks, your athletic prowess, you were destined to do fine for yourself in this world—as you have. And yet I can't recall you being unkind, inconsiderate or even uninterested in another person, not even for a second. When talking with Jim, you always know you've got his undivided attention—that he cares, that he's trying to make a real connection. Judging from the comments on this blog, I'm certainly not alone in feeling this way.

I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Lauren and Dana. But I'd just reiterate a couple of things you already know about your Dad. For one thing, he has had a truly beautiful friendship with Bogie. Both great guys, made better by the other. I think that's one reason why Jim became such a key part of our circle of friends, even though he wasn't a member of our frat. You just couldn't quite separate the two of them—it was a package deal. Also, fun and good times seemed to stick to your Dad like glue. One year, he and Bogie and I and another friend went fishing in Costa Rica for a fish called a tarpon, that is known for jumping high in the air. So what do you know but that one huge 100-lb tarpon decides to go flying straight up out of the water, and land right in the 10-foot dinghy Bogie and he were fishing from. I never understood how someone didn't get hurt, with all the hooks and fishing knives and other gear in the boat. Of course, had they capsized, your Dad would have been able to swim through the big surf to safety. As for Bogie, I'm not so sure ;-). But nothing bad happened. It just turned into a great fish story—just one more thing to laugh about that night over dinner and beers.

Jim, it's hard for me to reconcile how someone who has lived life so well could be stricken by this horrible disease. But I'm comforted by what the guys have told me about your own perspective about your death, and by the photos on the blog. I see the same old you, bringing an admirable, accepting attitude even to this chapter of your life. You're an inspiration to the end, pal. I pray that Chris and the girls' pain is eased by the knowledge of how blessed they've been to have had you in their lives. If even people like me have been so affected by knowing you, I can only guess at the wonderful legacy you'll have through them.

Peter Burrows

My memories of Jim - from an old friend

From Steve Ruiter (an old friend of Jim's):

I want  to send all my best to Jim and his whole family. I lost my Dad to Lymphoma this year at 68. I have a clue as to what you are all going through. I hope, if nothing else, that I can bring a smile to your face for a short time, and help you remember some of the good times, from when we were all young, strong and full of life.

I got to know Jim (and John, and Steve, and Karen, and Kathy, and Sue) as a kid, and we spent a LOT of time together through swimming. Jim and I were in the same grade, so we went right through the system together... Summers on the Natick Suburban Swim league Rec team, Barracudas, and then Natick High School. I can't begin to add up the hours we spent together. The constant car-pooling, and innumerable age group swim meets, and then trips to away meets gave us tons of time to hang together.

I have many pictures of Jim in my closet: team pictures and newspaper clippings, which I treasure and wish I could share. Here are a few of my fondest memory pictures that I can share:

I can still remember very well one of my very first early morning car-pool rides to Westwood HS. Jim and I were relegated to the back of a station wagon. We lied on our backs and looked out at the stars, still clearly visible in the dark sky, and he made up some story to pass the time on the ride.

I recall an early age group meet, where we were holed up in a  gym for the day between races. I would sit and rest, but Jim would be playing basketball all day between his races.

Doug Pond, home of the mighty Natick team (and a few muskrats) offered competitive swim lessons, and Jim and I would show up, even if it was raining. I'm not sure if it was the coaches, or the likelihood of spending time with the girls at the beach that got us there, but we were always there.

I credit Jim with my participation with Natick High swimming my senior year. As late as the day of the first meet, I had decided not to join the team (out of my own selfish pride for not being named a team captain). Jim somehow made it ok for me to join the team. That year we did very well at state, and I ended up getting the award for team MVP. But get this, Jim was named HS swimmer of the year  for the whole state by the Boston Globe. Figure that out. I'm still trying to figure out how Jim orchestrated that.

I spoke on the phone with Jay Mahoney yesterday, another old swimming friend. I don't recall ever talking to Jay on the phone before. Jay made a comment that it was just another of Jim's gifts to us, to bring together old friends from way back. I can't agree more.

Quite a journey we've all been on. I'm blessed to have spent some of it with Jim and the Ehrlich family.


Thanks

Steve Ruiter

The Dancing King!

Jim and family,

I am not one of the inner circle people in your life. In fact being your wife's – brother's – mother-in-law, puts me pretty far out there.

What I wanted to share is how your great energy and attitude has trickled all the way to me here on the West Coast. At Tanya and Woody's wedding you were the dancing king. You sure knew how to make my Mom and myself happy with asking us to dance. You were like the cosmic fun guy. We don’t have many of those out here that I know about. Our loss is heaven’s gain.

Hugs and Love,
Sharon Sandwisch